Graym and I hit quite a milestone this week: two months until the wedding! Every time I think about it an intense wave of eager anticipation washes over me and I'm left in the most giddy, overwhelmed, anxious state I've ever been in! The past ten months have flown by while at the very same time the next two months seem like they'll take forever. I'm sure I'll look back and think differently once the wedding day has come and passed, but for right now that day is so close I can almost taste it and I really, really want it to be here right now! Thankfully I do have a bit more time, though, because there is just so much left to do!
Let's begin with an honest confession, shall we? Here's the deal: I am SO over all this wedding stuff! Yea it's been fun, and yes I've enjoyed being able to express myself creatively throughout the process, but MAN I cannot wait for it to be over. I never thought I would say such a thing and when my cousins were going through the same set of feelings I'd laugh and shrug it off with a resounding, "That'll never happen to me! I'm going to love every minute of it." While I have loved all the planning and designing, I'm excited for the day where I can come home, relax, and not have to figure out what's next of the agenda, design that latest printable, or determine what has to be ordered! I just want to stop planning this wedding and actually be married! Is that too much for a gal to ask? : ) At least with only two months left, I can keep on trucking knowing that the beautifully wonderful end is in sight.
*Phew* Glad to get that one off my chest! Now on to the exciting news.
As many of you have figured out already from your recent mailman delivery, the invitations have been sent! They were sent in bunches on different days so some of you will be getting them a little later than others, but don't fret! They are on their way! Everything was made and designed by moi, from the burlap backing to the invitation design. Ok, ok. So I took some ideas from pinterest but hey, what future bride hasn't? Overall, I think they came out pretty swell and I hope you did too. A lot of time, effort, and love went in to those babies and I must give a quick shot out to my wonderful mama, handsome fiance, and incredible bridesmaid, Maria, for helping me glue, glue, and glue! You guys rock and there is no way I could've done it without you.
Side note: I realized I made a mistake on them today!! Worst feeling ever and I'm totally embarrassed. I swear I checked those invites 50 times before sending them to print but, alas, I put the wrong wedding website on there : ( I will be sending out a message to all the guests via facebook or some other means with the correct website later tonight and hope that you all forgive me for my silly mistake. Uggghhh, seriously. Only me!
Now back to today! Today marks 60 DAYS until the wedding!! I cannot believe it. In less than two months I will become Mrs. Kasko and I have come to love that last name more and more over time (and the man who holds it even more!). We have hit the stage where all the tiny details need to be figure out and I am beginning to feel so overwhelmed by how much we still have left to do. Thankfully I have been blessed with a wonderful support group of family and friends who have assisted me with various tasks and Graym has really taken initiative this past month with calling and contacting people without me asking. Have I told you how much I love him? I really, really do! Right now our biggest things are favors (cute little jars: check!), decorations (wall decal: check!), centerpieces (mason jars: check! wood slabs: check!), and wedding party gifts (uggh...no check on this one, yet!). Anyone who wants to have a DIY party with me this weekend is more than welcome to! :) That's just the beginning of the list, though, and it just seems to be getting longer and longer! It'll all get done and the wedding will be perfect, but man it's tough when you have a lot to do and you have no desire to do it (remember when I said I was over it? Yea...). 2 more months...2 more moths!
On another note, Graym and I get our apartment this weekend!! We wont' live together before the wedding but wanted enough enough time to move it and get the place settled so we weren't swamped with moving a week before the big day. We already have some wonderful gifts to move in and a living room set that we purchased from craigslist. It's beautiful and pretty much new since the guy kept the set in his formal living room. Talk about a bargain! My wonderful cousin and bridesmaid, Nicole, who just got married also gave us her husbands old bedroom furniture and dining set for FREE! Graym and I are so grateful and know that it will make a great addition to our new place. Both of us cannot wait to be in there together and know that we will be blessed in this home. We're also stoked to have you all over! I finally get to be a hostess! How fun is that? :D
Well, to keep this post from getting unbearably long, I'm gonna say so long for now! I'll keep you all updated as these next two months roll on by. We can't wait to see you all at the wedding come September. It's pretty much gonna be awesome, so get your excited pants on!
Much love,
Sasha
Home sweet home: Our new place!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
GRAYM AND I ARE TENANTS!!!
That doesn't sound nearly as neat as "homeowners" but it's just as a wonderful feeling! On Monday, Graym and I put in the security deposit for our new apartment. Can you believe it? We found the place where we are going to LIVE! Words cannot describe how stinkin excited we are and how blessed we feel. We had been researching various apartment complexes in the area but after visiting two, we were a little off put. We had a strict limit of $1500 a month (crazy, right? Welcome to DC...) but in this area, we'd be lucky to find something that is in a good location, part of a safe neighborhood, was a decent home, and affordable all in one. Yea, we can find places that rent out a studio or one bedroom for that rate, but when you add in the cost of utilities, cable/internet, laundry, parking, and more, you're looking at paying closer to $1800. No thank you. And the places that did include all of that within the $1500 cap, we'd either need to hire me a security guard or be stuck in the 1950s. Needless to say, I was getting a little frustrated with the prospect of finding a nice place to live until I remembered a little tip that more than one person had recently suggested to us: look for an independent owner; someone who is renting out their condo, town house, or finished basement. So off to Craigslist I went and after spending a few days scouring the ads I stumbled upon a few that seemed encouraging and began making phones.
We were absolutely AMAZED at the difference that renting a persons home or apartment could make verses an apartment complex. The properties were often twice as big, in beautiful, safe locations, and their rental cost often included all, if not most, of the utilities and other hidden costs. After viewing 3 other places and working with one man to settle on a price and move in date, Graym and I have put our deposit down and will residing in a basement apartment in Alexandria, VA.
Now when I say this place is awesome, I mean that it is awesome. We have our own private entrance to the basement which leads to 1100 square feet of beautiful home. The kitchen is huge, the appliances are all 5 years old or less, and we even have our own washer/dryer. Two french doors lead to the bedroom and both that and the living room have beautiful Berber carpet to cushion our toes. The neighborhood itself is gorgeous with new, large homes built 7 years ago and it is located directly across the street from Kingstowne center. If you've never been there, it's a great spot and has been lovingly coined "the new old town." Within a 5 minute walk we can find ourselves face to face with the movie theater, lots of small shops and restaurants, the grocery store, Walmart, and one of our favorite places to shop: Khols. A ten minute drive down the road in either direction is the Springfield Mall and Old Town Alexandria, and within 20 to 30 minutes we can be hanging out with Grammie and Bapa or mom and papa, hanging in DC, or shopping at Tysons. Since we'll technically be considered a resident of the home, we'll have access to all the community amenities as well which include 3 club houses that you can rent for special events, 3 giant pools, tennis courts (with lights for night playing!), and a massive weight room that includes all the free weights, kettlebells, and cardio equipment you can imagine.
All this for.........*drum roll please*.........$1475/month. BAM! Utilities, parking, cable/internet, everything you could imagine is included. Graym and I feel so blessed to have found this place, to be the only tenants the owner even considered, and to know that in just a few short months we'll be calling it home. Unfortunately I have already gotten in to complete home decorating mode and am ready to buy lots of pretty stuff to furnish the place! Thankfully we begin renting July 15 so at least we don't have to wait as long for that.
Here are some of the pictures that the owner posted on craigslist. They definitely don't do the place justice though, so I guess you all are just gonna have to come over sometime after the wedding :)
That doesn't sound nearly as neat as "homeowners" but it's just as a wonderful feeling! On Monday, Graym and I put in the security deposit for our new apartment. Can you believe it? We found the place where we are going to LIVE! Words cannot describe how stinkin excited we are and how blessed we feel. We had been researching various apartment complexes in the area but after visiting two, we were a little off put. We had a strict limit of $1500 a month (crazy, right? Welcome to DC...) but in this area, we'd be lucky to find something that is in a good location, part of a safe neighborhood, was a decent home, and affordable all in one. Yea, we can find places that rent out a studio or one bedroom for that rate, but when you add in the cost of utilities, cable/internet, laundry, parking, and more, you're looking at paying closer to $1800. No thank you. And the places that did include all of that within the $1500 cap, we'd either need to hire me a security guard or be stuck in the 1950s. Needless to say, I was getting a little frustrated with the prospect of finding a nice place to live until I remembered a little tip that more than one person had recently suggested to us: look for an independent owner; someone who is renting out their condo, town house, or finished basement. So off to Craigslist I went and after spending a few days scouring the ads I stumbled upon a few that seemed encouraging and began making phones.
We were absolutely AMAZED at the difference that renting a persons home or apartment could make verses an apartment complex. The properties were often twice as big, in beautiful, safe locations, and their rental cost often included all, if not most, of the utilities and other hidden costs. After viewing 3 other places and working with one man to settle on a price and move in date, Graym and I have put our deposit down and will residing in a basement apartment in Alexandria, VA.
Now when I say this place is awesome, I mean that it is awesome. We have our own private entrance to the basement which leads to 1100 square feet of beautiful home. The kitchen is huge, the appliances are all 5 years old or less, and we even have our own washer/dryer. Two french doors lead to the bedroom and both that and the living room have beautiful Berber carpet to cushion our toes. The neighborhood itself is gorgeous with new, large homes built 7 years ago and it is located directly across the street from Kingstowne center. If you've never been there, it's a great spot and has been lovingly coined "the new old town." Within a 5 minute walk we can find ourselves face to face with the movie theater, lots of small shops and restaurants, the grocery store, Walmart, and one of our favorite places to shop: Khols. A ten minute drive down the road in either direction is the Springfield Mall and Old Town Alexandria, and within 20 to 30 minutes we can be hanging out with Grammie and Bapa or mom and papa, hanging in DC, or shopping at Tysons. Since we'll technically be considered a resident of the home, we'll have access to all the community amenities as well which include 3 club houses that you can rent for special events, 3 giant pools, tennis courts (with lights for night playing!), and a massive weight room that includes all the free weights, kettlebells, and cardio equipment you can imagine.
All this for.........*drum roll please*.........$1475/month. BAM! Utilities, parking, cable/internet, everything you could imagine is included. Graym and I feel so blessed to have found this place, to be the only tenants the owner even considered, and to know that in just a few short months we'll be calling it home. Unfortunately I have already gotten in to complete home decorating mode and am ready to buy lots of pretty stuff to furnish the place! Thankfully we begin renting July 15 so at least we don't have to wait as long for that.
Here are some of the pictures that the owner posted on craigslist. They definitely don't do the place justice though, so I guess you all are just gonna have to come over sometime after the wedding :)
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| Entry door to the left there, living room in front, and bathroom on the right. The living is twice as big as it looks here, promise! |
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| The front door is behind the picture, so the bedroom pictured here is on the right. I love those double doors! And you can see the big kitchen on the left. |
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| Humungo kitchen! I can't wait to cook in there :D |
Surprise! My wonderful bridal shower
Friday, June 1, 2012
Around 5pm on Saturday, May 19 Graym and I were heading to my house after a wonderful and eventful day. We started the morning off by playing some tennis, followed by an afternoon showing of The Avengers in 3D. It had been such a great day already and I never could've imagined that when I arrived home that I'd be walking in to the country!
My incredible parents along with my awesome team of bridesmaids put together the most beautiful, indescribable, perfect bridal shower that a girl could ever ask for! Since Graym and I love country living and have a very rustic, southern theme to our wedding, my mom decided a full on country themed shower was perfect. My papa and uncle built a make shift barn in the back yard and the place was decorated with wagon wheels, whiskey barrels, and hay bales. The delicious food consisted of recipes straight from Paula Deens kitchen and we sipped on sweet tea and cold lemonade while we ate and laughed. All the guests were dressed up in their best cowgirl attire including boots, plaid shirts, and cowboy hats. Everything was above and beyond anything that I could have imagined and I was left speechless by creativity, dedication, and joy that was put in to making this special day happen. I was so incredibly blessed by the love and support I was shown by everyone who attended, and all of their gifts will help make our fist place a home.
Now to give thanks where thanks are due.
To the guests: Seriously, I have the best family and friends ever! Thank you all for coming, making that day so wonderful, and for shedding me with all your love. The meals you brought were delicious and I can't wait to try out the awesome recipes you gave me!
To my dads coworkers: I don't think you'll be reading this, but thanks for lending my dad all those awesome props to make our backyard turn in to a barn! The place looked awesome and I can't wait to use them again at my wedding.
To Tio Roberto: You and my dad made the most killer barn ever and I loved it!! Thank you for putting in the time and hard work to help make it happen.
To my girls: thank you so much for all that you did to help my mom with all the little details. You were there when she needed you most and really helped tie it all together. I'm so thankful to have you in my life and by my side during this time.
To my mom and dad: words cannot express how incredibly blessed I am to have you as parents. Every day I witness such overwhelming love between you two and I'm so thankful for all the wonderful ways you have extended that to Graym and I. You have given more than your all to make your little girl feel like a princess and I truly felt like one that day. Thank you for making my shower such a beautiful, memorable one and I pray that Graym and I can share the same love and care with our children that you have shown me. You are the best parents a gal could ever ask for and I am so honored to be your daughter.
Phew, ok. Enough with the sappy stuff! Here are some of my favorite pictures from the shower. Enjoy!
My incredible parents along with my awesome team of bridesmaids put together the most beautiful, indescribable, perfect bridal shower that a girl could ever ask for! Since Graym and I love country living and have a very rustic, southern theme to our wedding, my mom decided a full on country themed shower was perfect. My papa and uncle built a make shift barn in the back yard and the place was decorated with wagon wheels, whiskey barrels, and hay bales. The delicious food consisted of recipes straight from Paula Deens kitchen and we sipped on sweet tea and cold lemonade while we ate and laughed. All the guests were dressed up in their best cowgirl attire including boots, plaid shirts, and cowboy hats. Everything was above and beyond anything that I could have imagined and I was left speechless by creativity, dedication, and joy that was put in to making this special day happen. I was so incredibly blessed by the love and support I was shown by everyone who attended, and all of their gifts will help make our fist place a home.
Now to give thanks where thanks are due.
To the guests: Seriously, I have the best family and friends ever! Thank you all for coming, making that day so wonderful, and for shedding me with all your love. The meals you brought were delicious and I can't wait to try out the awesome recipes you gave me!
To my dads coworkers: I don't think you'll be reading this, but thanks for lending my dad all those awesome props to make our backyard turn in to a barn! The place looked awesome and I can't wait to use them again at my wedding.
To Tio Roberto: You and my dad made the most killer barn ever and I loved it!! Thank you for putting in the time and hard work to help make it happen.
To my girls: thank you so much for all that you did to help my mom with all the little details. You were there when she needed you most and really helped tie it all together. I'm so thankful to have you in my life and by my side during this time.
To my mom and dad: words cannot express how incredibly blessed I am to have you as parents. Every day I witness such overwhelming love between you two and I'm so thankful for all the wonderful ways you have extended that to Graym and I. You have given more than your all to make your little girl feel like a princess and I truly felt like one that day. Thank you for making my shower such a beautiful, memorable one and I pray that Graym and I can share the same love and care with our children that you have shown me. You are the best parents a gal could ever ask for and I am so honored to be your daughter.
Phew, ok. Enough with the sappy stuff! Here are some of my favorite pictures from the shower. Enjoy!
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| The "barn"!! |
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| Yummy, yummy cake :) |
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| My beautiful bridesmaids |
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| The best mama in the whole wide world! |
Wedding shoes are stressful (most pointless rant ever)
Thursday, May 17, 2012
If you're in to reading totally irrational, pointless rants about nothing of great importance, that this is the perfect post for you. Read on, you silly little thing you, read on.
Well, the title of this post pretty much says it all. Wedding shoes are majorly stressful! Out of all the wedding stuff so far, I think picking out wedding shoes have taken up the most time and caused the greatest frustration. Why you ask? Because of a silly and obnoxious person called...me!
Here's the thing, I don't care about the shoes at all, but I totally care about the shoes! Major contradiction, right? Right. And that's the problem. See, I don't care enough about what the shoes look like that I'm willing to spend hundreds of dollars on a pair of shoes that I'll wear for 45 minutes on one day. Yea, I know many of you have said you can totally wear your wedding shoes again with cocktail dresses, etc., but I'm not a heel person. I love the way they look, can rock them for an hour or two, and then *BAM* here come the flip flops. If I could pull off a whole day of heels, I'd understand biting the bullet and splurging a little, but, again, I more of a flats, flip flops, wedges kind of a gal. The hunt for affordable yet cute wedding shoes began and boy was it a task! I wanted shoes no higher than 3" (but flats were no go too...I wanted to have a little height but didn't want to tower over Graym), with a T or ankle strap so I wouldn't slip out, not too flashy with a ton of sparkly jewel stuff, and they needed to be white. Diamond white. Not this off white ivory stuff that all the dresses (and therefore shoes) come in these days. Like a crisp, fresh layer of snow white to match my dress. A surprisingly tough combo. Either they were too tall, the wrong color, a weird style, or most importantly too expensive.
FINALLY after months of searching I finally found a pair that I like and have ordered which is uber exciting but with online shopping only comes more anxiety. Will the shoes fit? Will I have to exchange them? What if they are too high? Or uncomfortable?
*Sigh* I give up hahaha. At least I finally ordered a pair and they are really nice. In case you were wondering, I had to order the shoes now because my first dress fitting is the first weekend in June. Why so early? My dress has very delicate layers with intricate lace details that can't simply be hemmed. These details have to be removed and sewn back on by hand, which is going to take this poor woman a couple months to do. Crazy, right? The little things you don't realize come along with purchasing a wedding dress! Anyways, you can check out the pretty little heels here if you'd like. Let's just hope that they fit and I love them just as much on as I do in the picture :)
Time to vote!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Ok ladies and gents (though I'm pretty sure this is mostly a lady thing haha) I need your help! I'm trying to decide between two pairs of bridal earrings and am at a standstill. I really love them both! So I'm coming to facebook for all of your opinions. Blogger said I got over 200 views the other day, so I'm thinking this should turn out well! Ha!
Here's the first pair. I'm attaching it as a link in case Graym opens this post up before realizing that he can't look. Thankfully I have a great fiance who doesn't want to see anything relating to me and the wedding so I can trust him not to take a peek :) Anyways, here it is!
https://www.etsy.com/transaction/74191561?transaction_id=74191561
Pros: It's stunning! Absolutely beautiful and totally one of kind. It's gold, which is what I wanted since my engagement ring is gold, and the intricate details are amazing.
Cons: My dress is pretty busy. It involves a lot of lace and layers and has a beautiful design on top of it all...I think this earring might be too much with my dress
Here's the second pair! http://www.etsy.com/listing/91374221/gold-bridal-earrings-long-pearl-and
Pros: It's beautiful, gold, and has a very classic and simple feel to it. It doesn't need much to make a statement
Cons: Ummm...none really haha I think it would go perfect with my dress but I just love the other one so much too!!
So let me know your thoughts! It's so hard to know how it'll look with the dress without actually seeing them together, but this etsy vendor has a no return policy so I can't just buy both and return the one I don't choose. Hopefully I pick the hard one, though it'll be hard!
Let's vote! share your thoughts either here or on facebook. I can't promise I'll go with the majority but I'd love to know what you all think :)
Thanks so much!!
- Sasha
Starting to feel like home
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
"I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself."
Spoken by Maya Angelo yet settling deep within my own heart, this quote is one that I believe resounds throughout the entire human race. We are born with a natural desire to find, make, build a home where we not only feel comfort but safety, love and warmth, acceptance and growth. We want a place that we recognize; a place that we could travel with our eyes closed. A place filled with memories and where the remnants of laughter and tears echo off every wall and street corner. We want to be able to drive with friends and point out the spot where we graduated high school, our favorite Sunday afternoon ice cream shop, and the historical landmarks which make us proud to be a resident there. A home grows from being the place you lay your head at night in to a community of neighbors, buildings, street signs, and history that web together and cradle your soul. It's the place you long for when you've been gone far too long. It's the place you never wish to leave.
Three years ago when my family moved to Virginia from my born-and-raised state of Massachusetts I was completely unaware of how strongly this transplant would leave me longing for the home I no longer had. At the time I had no strong connection to the northern state other than a deep pride for my Boston sports teams, my characteristic masshole driving, and use of the word "wicked". I lost touch with most of my high school friends and was completely absorbed in my college life. That was home to me: the beautiful and frigid state of Maine where I learned who God and myself really were. I didn't think leaving MA would be difficult. In fact, I thought it would be easy and quite exciting. Never did I imagined that that first summer I spent in Virginia would be the most difficult and depressing summer of my life.
I guess you could say I truly learned the meaning of the all too common saying "you never know what you have until it's gone." For the first time in my life I was in a place where I felt no connection. I knew no one besides my wonderful family and a single friend stationed twenty minutes away from the house. The only place I could drive to was the supermarket and that was only because it was located right across from our neighborhood. Back roads and alternative routes home were no longer an option; I simply did not know the streets and often found myself lost, confused, and struggling to find my direction. Our new house was huge and beautiful, but the three story lodge lacked all those little things that made a house a home: the smell that was our smell (you all know what I mean. I'm sure so many of you could walk in to your home blindfolded and know exactly where you were just by the scent); the little scratches and dings in the wall that made mom mad when it happened but always caused a chuckle when you'd pass it in the hall later on (remember that time HJ fell head first in to the wall and papa had to patch it up? I still laugh thinking about it!); the familiarity of where everything is where everything should go.
Now don't get me wrong, there were some wonderful things that came out of that summer. My relationship with my cousins, our neighbors by a couple miles, grew and I can truly say I have never been closer to Nicole than I was that summer. I loved our weekly ice cream and mall runs and I owe it to her that I didn't go completely crazy those few months. I had the opportunity to explore and learn about the capitol of the United States and the deep history that ran through every street. I learned how to be independent in a place where I felt so alone and took the time to read and indulge in pleasures I never had the time for before. It was a summer of blessings that I failed to see until I took the time to look back and thank God for His mercies.
Things began to change over the course of the next couple years. I returned to Virginia for school breaks and holidays and as each time passed I would enjoy the time a little more. I became more familiar with the surrounding and more involved in my parents church. I learned the street names was blessed to meet a wonderful man in the area that made coming back a bit easier too. It was nice to know that things were starting to change, but as much as I was looking forward to life after college I wasn't so sure about leaving the home and school I did know and returning full time to the place that caused me so much grief just a couple summers prior. I was afraid of diving in to what felt like shallow waters. Now, almost a year later, things have improved to a point where I can no longer say "this doesn't feel like home." I've learned my way around and have successfully learned multiple routes home when I'm stuck in the much too often traffic that has made D.C. famous. I've picked up a slight southern accent when saying certain words and particularly when surrounded by certain people (*cough cough* the Pinckneys *cough cough*), and have even added the word "ya'll" to my mental dictionary. I've grown wonderfully closer to my family as we spend nearly every holiday, birthday, church morning, and random outings together and have had the opportunity to watch my little brother finish senior year and some beautiful little children grow and mature. It's been wonderful this past year and the comforting feeling of a home has been built around this place, yet it still seemed to lack permanence. Graym and I often talked about our future plans and the hope of moving south to North Carolina or possibly even out west to Colorado within a few years. Everything was planned around our move and when we'd really be able to settle down and build our first home together. Virginia has surely become home but a temporary one indeed, and I couldn't wait to build our permanent foundation elsewhere...or so I thought.
It brings me such joy to say that for the first time in the three years that my address has held a Virginia zip code that I can actually picture myself building a home here. For the first time I'm actually excited about that idea! Who knew that one day could make sure a whirlwind change?
To understand this change I must first share with you the latest adventure that Graym and I had embarked on: finding a home church. Soon after we got engaged we decided that we wanted to begin the process of finding a church we could settle and grow in over the next few years. We didn't want to be in Virginia forever, but we new it was important to receive spiritual nourishment from a bible based church during the few years we knew we'd be here. We began attending various churches for a few weeks at a time until we stumbled upon one that Graym really loved and connected with: Redeemer Church of Arlington, a church plant of Sovereign Grace Ministries. I find it really important to point out that Graym really loved this church. As for me...well, I liked it. It was a nice church with a great community that primarily consisted of young professional in their twenties and thirties that were either getting married, just got married, or just started a family. Bingo! Couldn't sound more perfect, right? But I was hesitant and intimidated for reasons I really couldn't put a finger on. Something felt so unsettling and I couldn't understand why.
Graym quickly decided after only a few weeks that he wanted this to be our home church. As my future husband, I trusted him in this decision and knew that he would only make this choice if he truly believed it would benefit both of us and lead us to a greater understanding of our God and our faith. Graym understands his role of leader and protector and greatly strives to be that for me everyday. I knew that he wouldn't place us somewhere that would cause us any harm or distress so I willingly accepted this church as our own. All I could do now was pray. I prayed in desperation, telling God that if this is the place that he wanted us to be that he would have to change my heart. I came to Him with honesty and openness, asking for understanding and a renewal of spirits. I wanted to love this church as much as Graym, but I knew the Lord would have to perform some major renovations within my heart. I prayed this often. I prayed this sincerely. I prayed this for what seemed like many, many weeks without an answer.
On Sunday, May 6th I received my answer. The church was having an after-service dinner for anyone who would like to attend (to clarify, church begins at 4:30pm on Sundays) and we had planned from the previous week we would go. Graym was excited to introduce me to the people he had met at his Thursday evening small group and on the Sundays that I hadn't gone, but I, on the other hand, was very anxious and not looking forward to eating dinner with people we didn't know in a church I didn't yet feel comfortable in. However, as soon as the service ended and the community made their way downstairs, the transformation began. Some wonderful couples introduced themselves to us and we spent much of the evening chatting. During dinner we sat at a table with two other pairs and hit it off, sharing part of our lives and stories with one another. I met some of the men and women who attend small group with Graym, including one of the pastors' wife, who were genuinely excited to meet the gal he spoke so much about and they quickly made me feel like a welcome part of the church community.
For the first time I wasn't in a hurry to leave. Conversation flowed easily, joy was truly felt, and connections were made. Unfortunately the did night did have to come to an end and as we got in the car, a smile spread across my face as I revealed to Graym everything I had been feeling over the past few months and the emotions that took over now. I was excited to be a part of that church and meet newlyweds that shared common interests as us. I was excited that they were excited to meet me and wanted to welcome me into this place that they cared for so much. I was especially excited for the coming week when I would be able to say hello to the couples we met and chat before service instead of sitting quietly in a pew. I began to understand what I had been struggling with and the emotions I grappled with for so long, my need to feel accepted and recognized. I was now able to put that all behind me and look forward to the life we could live here. For the first time I could see Graym and I settling down and befriend these wonderful men and women we met. I could see us raising kids with the other newlyweds and being surrounded by the love of Christ in these families. I could see us happy and comfortable in an Arlington home where we'd invite people over for barbeques and birthday parties. I could see us settling in Virginia.
Whether we will actually remain long term in Virginia has yet to be determined. We both love the sate of North Carolina and believe that the slower paced and simpler lifestyle better suits us, but it's nice to finally feel like a home could be built right where we are. I am so grateful to God for the faithfulness, love, and grace he showed me that Sunday. He changed my heart in all the right ways. I'm also so thankful for Graym and that I have a man I can trust with big decisions regardless of how I feel about them, knowing that his choices will be in our best interest. I was truly blessed this weekend and know that I will continue to be in the Sundays to come.
Virginia. It's starting to feel like home.
Spoken by Maya Angelo yet settling deep within my own heart, this quote is one that I believe resounds throughout the entire human race. We are born with a natural desire to find, make, build a home where we not only feel comfort but safety, love and warmth, acceptance and growth. We want a place that we recognize; a place that we could travel with our eyes closed. A place filled with memories and where the remnants of laughter and tears echo off every wall and street corner. We want to be able to drive with friends and point out the spot where we graduated high school, our favorite Sunday afternoon ice cream shop, and the historical landmarks which make us proud to be a resident there. A home grows from being the place you lay your head at night in to a community of neighbors, buildings, street signs, and history that web together and cradle your soul. It's the place you long for when you've been gone far too long. It's the place you never wish to leave.
Three years ago when my family moved to Virginia from my born-and-raised state of Massachusetts I was completely unaware of how strongly this transplant would leave me longing for the home I no longer had. At the time I had no strong connection to the northern state other than a deep pride for my Boston sports teams, my characteristic masshole driving, and use of the word "wicked". I lost touch with most of my high school friends and was completely absorbed in my college life. That was home to me: the beautiful and frigid state of Maine where I learned who God and myself really were. I didn't think leaving MA would be difficult. In fact, I thought it would be easy and quite exciting. Never did I imagined that that first summer I spent in Virginia would be the most difficult and depressing summer of my life.
I guess you could say I truly learned the meaning of the all too common saying "you never know what you have until it's gone." For the first time in my life I was in a place where I felt no connection. I knew no one besides my wonderful family and a single friend stationed twenty minutes away from the house. The only place I could drive to was the supermarket and that was only because it was located right across from our neighborhood. Back roads and alternative routes home were no longer an option; I simply did not know the streets and often found myself lost, confused, and struggling to find my direction. Our new house was huge and beautiful, but the three story lodge lacked all those little things that made a house a home: the smell that was our smell (you all know what I mean. I'm sure so many of you could walk in to your home blindfolded and know exactly where you were just by the scent); the little scratches and dings in the wall that made mom mad when it happened but always caused a chuckle when you'd pass it in the hall later on (remember that time HJ fell head first in to the wall and papa had to patch it up? I still laugh thinking about it!); the familiarity of where everything is where everything should go.
Now don't get me wrong, there were some wonderful things that came out of that summer. My relationship with my cousins, our neighbors by a couple miles, grew and I can truly say I have never been closer to Nicole than I was that summer. I loved our weekly ice cream and mall runs and I owe it to her that I didn't go completely crazy those few months. I had the opportunity to explore and learn about the capitol of the United States and the deep history that ran through every street. I learned how to be independent in a place where I felt so alone and took the time to read and indulge in pleasures I never had the time for before. It was a summer of blessings that I failed to see until I took the time to look back and thank God for His mercies.
Things began to change over the course of the next couple years. I returned to Virginia for school breaks and holidays and as each time passed I would enjoy the time a little more. I became more familiar with the surrounding and more involved in my parents church. I learned the street names was blessed to meet a wonderful man in the area that made coming back a bit easier too. It was nice to know that things were starting to change, but as much as I was looking forward to life after college I wasn't so sure about leaving the home and school I did know and returning full time to the place that caused me so much grief just a couple summers prior. I was afraid of diving in to what felt like shallow waters. Now, almost a year later, things have improved to a point where I can no longer say "this doesn't feel like home." I've learned my way around and have successfully learned multiple routes home when I'm stuck in the much too often traffic that has made D.C. famous. I've picked up a slight southern accent when saying certain words and particularly when surrounded by certain people (*cough cough* the Pinckneys *cough cough*), and have even added the word "ya'll" to my mental dictionary. I've grown wonderfully closer to my family as we spend nearly every holiday, birthday, church morning, and random outings together and have had the opportunity to watch my little brother finish senior year and some beautiful little children grow and mature. It's been wonderful this past year and the comforting feeling of a home has been built around this place, yet it still seemed to lack permanence. Graym and I often talked about our future plans and the hope of moving south to North Carolina or possibly even out west to Colorado within a few years. Everything was planned around our move and when we'd really be able to settle down and build our first home together. Virginia has surely become home but a temporary one indeed, and I couldn't wait to build our permanent foundation elsewhere...or so I thought.
It brings me such joy to say that for the first time in the three years that my address has held a Virginia zip code that I can actually picture myself building a home here. For the first time I'm actually excited about that idea! Who knew that one day could make sure a whirlwind change?
To understand this change I must first share with you the latest adventure that Graym and I had embarked on: finding a home church. Soon after we got engaged we decided that we wanted to begin the process of finding a church we could settle and grow in over the next few years. We didn't want to be in Virginia forever, but we new it was important to receive spiritual nourishment from a bible based church during the few years we knew we'd be here. We began attending various churches for a few weeks at a time until we stumbled upon one that Graym really loved and connected with: Redeemer Church of Arlington, a church plant of Sovereign Grace Ministries. I find it really important to point out that Graym really loved this church. As for me...well, I liked it. It was a nice church with a great community that primarily consisted of young professional in their twenties and thirties that were either getting married, just got married, or just started a family. Bingo! Couldn't sound more perfect, right? But I was hesitant and intimidated for reasons I really couldn't put a finger on. Something felt so unsettling and I couldn't understand why.
Graym quickly decided after only a few weeks that he wanted this to be our home church. As my future husband, I trusted him in this decision and knew that he would only make this choice if he truly believed it would benefit both of us and lead us to a greater understanding of our God and our faith. Graym understands his role of leader and protector and greatly strives to be that for me everyday. I knew that he wouldn't place us somewhere that would cause us any harm or distress so I willingly accepted this church as our own. All I could do now was pray. I prayed in desperation, telling God that if this is the place that he wanted us to be that he would have to change my heart. I came to Him with honesty and openness, asking for understanding and a renewal of spirits. I wanted to love this church as much as Graym, but I knew the Lord would have to perform some major renovations within my heart. I prayed this often. I prayed this sincerely. I prayed this for what seemed like many, many weeks without an answer.
On Sunday, May 6th I received my answer. The church was having an after-service dinner for anyone who would like to attend (to clarify, church begins at 4:30pm on Sundays) and we had planned from the previous week we would go. Graym was excited to introduce me to the people he had met at his Thursday evening small group and on the Sundays that I hadn't gone, but I, on the other hand, was very anxious and not looking forward to eating dinner with people we didn't know in a church I didn't yet feel comfortable in. However, as soon as the service ended and the community made their way downstairs, the transformation began. Some wonderful couples introduced themselves to us and we spent much of the evening chatting. During dinner we sat at a table with two other pairs and hit it off, sharing part of our lives and stories with one another. I met some of the men and women who attend small group with Graym, including one of the pastors' wife, who were genuinely excited to meet the gal he spoke so much about and they quickly made me feel like a welcome part of the church community.
For the first time I wasn't in a hurry to leave. Conversation flowed easily, joy was truly felt, and connections were made. Unfortunately the did night did have to come to an end and as we got in the car, a smile spread across my face as I revealed to Graym everything I had been feeling over the past few months and the emotions that took over now. I was excited to be a part of that church and meet newlyweds that shared common interests as us. I was excited that they were excited to meet me and wanted to welcome me into this place that they cared for so much. I was especially excited for the coming week when I would be able to say hello to the couples we met and chat before service instead of sitting quietly in a pew. I began to understand what I had been struggling with and the emotions I grappled with for so long, my need to feel accepted and recognized. I was now able to put that all behind me and look forward to the life we could live here. For the first time I could see Graym and I settling down and befriend these wonderful men and women we met. I could see us raising kids with the other newlyweds and being surrounded by the love of Christ in these families. I could see us happy and comfortable in an Arlington home where we'd invite people over for barbeques and birthday parties. I could see us settling in Virginia.
Whether we will actually remain long term in Virginia has yet to be determined. We both love the sate of North Carolina and believe that the slower paced and simpler lifestyle better suits us, but it's nice to finally feel like a home could be built right where we are. I am so grateful to God for the faithfulness, love, and grace he showed me that Sunday. He changed my heart in all the right ways. I'm also so thankful for Graym and that I have a man I can trust with big decisions regardless of how I feel about them, knowing that his choices will be in our best interest. I was truly blessed this weekend and know that I will continue to be in the Sundays to come.
Virginia. It's starting to feel like home.
A beautiful momentary marriage
I have been working on another post these past few days but wanted to put that on hold for a moment to share this video with you all. It especially hit home as an engaged woman preparing for life that is bound to be full love, triumphs, struggles, and hopes. A life that God designed not as a means to promote myself but glorify Him. As I now look to share that life with Graym, I can only pray that we will praise and honor our Lord through the actions of our marriage, that we will be so satisfied in who He is that nothing we face can shatter our joy in Him. I hope that if Graym and I ever find ourselves in a similar situation that we will be faithful to the vows we've shared and love one another through what would most certainly feel like a tragedy in the moment. But isn't it amazing how something that can feel like the end of our world can reap blessings beyond belief? That seems to hold true for Ian and Larissa, the couple I want to share with you. You can feel the love and joy they have for one another and Christ through this video and I hope you are as blessed as I was watching it.
To share just how God used this video in my own life, I wanted to give you a small glimpse in to the past couple of days. Graym and I had our usual bedtime chat on Monday but it didn't end as well as usual. We were discussing something about the wedding and simply could not get to a point we agreed on. We said our "good nights" feeling frustrated and not too pleased with the one another since he simply did not see my view point and surely he felt the same about me. We watched this video individually throughout our day, touched in our own way, and when Graym came over later that evening for a class we've been taking together we wrapped our arms around one another and apologized the first moment we could. We had witnessed a story of love; a story of cherishing the important things and realized how small and unimportant our disagreement had been. We had gotten upset over something so trivial, something that wasn't even of secondary importance let alone primary. Grace. It's something that we so desperately need and something we lack so often. I'm so glad that Graym and I could share grace with one another yesterday evening and that this video opened our hearts to see the areas in our lives where we need grace to overflow. I hope that we continue to forgive the small things, to recognize them as tiny and unimportant moments in our lives and focus on the grand, beautiful, and wonderful things that too often pass before us. I pray we can more often be like Ian and Larissa, filled with joy, gratitude, and satisfaction.
I haven't figured out how to embed videos in my blog yet, but you can click here to watch the video. May you be blessed.
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About Me
- sasha marie kasko
- I'm a 23 year old tea drinkin', ice cream lovin', Jesus servin', all around bubbly gal who likes to play chef, spend too much time in craft stores, give her husband sweet kisses, and blog about my crazy, wonderful, nonsensical life. I'm a wife, sister, daughter, friend, and delighted mommy-to-be.
